Why I'm Not Afraid Of Clowns... and other tales from my wardrobe

Yesterday was one of those freezing days, where you wake up and quiver at the thought of getting out of bed.... inch your bare feet(why did you kick those socks off, why?) out of the cover to the hard cold wooden floor, search with squirming toes for your slippers... Trying to find enough old jumpers to pile on before the urgent race to the toilet(why does the cold make you wee more???), and then chase errant children down to be-sock and be-jumper them. Later as we warmed up in the lounge together, I searched my memory for our stock of winter clothes; in my head I open the drawers, stare into them, rustle through them and take silent inventory. Not. Enough. Warm. Clothes. Yes, the kids had long-sleeve tees, and a couple of pairs of jeans each, and a couple of warm jackets, but no quick jumpers to pull on in the cold morning, to pull off quickly when they inevitably warm up later on. And Maddy... still wearing light cotton skirts - should I put them away for summer or enforce a leggings-at-all-times rule? Her skirts are way too cute to put away, so leggings it is!

But my clothing issues are different... I have some long-sleeved tops, this I know, but where? And in what condition? Mentally I track them down - one is fine, one should be relegated to pyjama land, and the other - it's time is up. Pants are a different story though; I have plenty of leggings to wear under skirts and dresses and tunics, and heck, let's admit it, the looser ones are worn as pants sometimes - please don't judge me! I have one pair of summer pants, loose-ish spotty harem-style pants, which I LOVE, but are so thin I might as well go out with no pants at all!

So I had a texting conference with my financial advisor(AKA the husband) and set off to buy clothing! Yay! I got hoodies for the kids, and leggings for Maddy, and a couple of plain, long-sleeve tees for me.... and the real triumph: jeans! My First Button-up Pants. Since my sweet baby popped out 8 months ago, and let's be honest, for about 8 months previously, all I could wear is elasticated waist bands, which can be limiting and downright depressing. But YES! I shout it to the four corners of the Internet! I fit into a pair of jeans! From a chain store at the mall! WIN!!!! And yes, size 16 is nothing to write home about, but heck, at least it's a number, rather than a vague letter with X's involved... My whole world of clothing has opened up again!

Anyhoo, excitement aside, the REAL issue of my clothing, and the difficulties of making outfit decisions in the morning could have something to do with this:

That's right. I take my clothes off, and if they're not obviously dirty, I just hang them over the towel rail. Well actually, there's no hanging involved any more, it's more a matter of smooshing clothes on top of other clothes, jamming a corner of them behind the rail and hoping to high heaven that the rail doesn't just rip right out of the wall from the pressure. Obviously this is a problem aesthetically, because, you know, its butt ugly. Major Interior Decorating Fail. Luckily only good friends visit, and they're used to my squalorrific ways. But this 'system' of dealing with my clothes means that I never know what to wear, and all I can see is an uninspiring mound of colour and pattern. And when one stands and looks for long enough at my clothing 'wall', one could be forgiven for thinking that a clown lives here. Yes. A clown. 

I tend to buy clothes on a whim, tops and pants that shout out at me, whose colours and patterns appeal.... and thus, I end up with so many brightly coloured and patterned pieces that it is a genuine battle to put together an outfit that doesn't look like my name is Bozo. So after buying jeans and plain tops yesterday, I have again looked at my giant Great Wall of Clothing, and decided to deal to it. For the next few days(or for however long it takes) I am going to try and put together outfits purely from my crazy clothing nest. Which may mean slightly more clownish attire than usual. I'll allow the occasional dip into my drawers if I've genuinely run out of something essential, but otherwise, that wall is my wardrobe. So without further ado, outfit number one. 

Pink hair, Pink shirt, Spotty pants

Plus Blue Cardi.

So much colour, so little time. This does look pretty standard fare for me actually, but as the days go by, it may become harder to dress this sanely. Stay tuned tomorrow for whatever new horrors the Heap has to offer me.
Yours, Bozo.