Hump Daye. Yesterday's jaunt to thee Merry Isle of Kaukapakapa was slightlye marred by thee bosun's wakefulness during thee night, with only three(3!) hours sleep. Briefly contemplated making her walk thee Plank(e). This morning thee Crew and I sailed for home, with thee winde at our backs. Unfortunately, en route to thee First Mate's educational facility, thee Second Mate lost thee contents of his Stomach, which sprayed across our good Corolla. We weighed anchor and considered our options. I had a good minde to throw him body and soul overboard, but resisted thee urge. Being stranded in noe sight of civilization, I made thee decision to press on, and we hauled ass to thee School, barely in time for thee sounding of thee gongs. It was a smelly journey, and thee First Mate's unhelpful comments about odour and disgusting-ness truly raised my Hackles. Once she was safely off our ship, we continued our fateful journey home. Thee scurvy unscrupulous Second Mate was truly delighted to be relieved from his duties of thee Dreaded Kindergarten, and is now scarfing down what looks to be the remains of our rations, while I, thee captain, scrub thee poop deck.
No souls lost. Captain out.