Tuesday, September 9

Little House on the.... Ok No.

       I've always fantasized about living 'Off-The-Grid'... y'know, tapping maple syrup from the trees, setting traps for bears(and then setting them free OBVIOUSLY), wringing out the cloth nappies by hand and slapping them on a rock. Unfortunately for the latter, my knees and ankles, oy, they're not so great, so my squatting abilities are not what they used to be(and I grew up using squat toilets, so I must have been good at some stage).
     My Pinterest boards are filled with pictures of tiny log cabins, kitchens with water on pump and giant tree slabs for furniture. I constantly envision peeling potatoes on the back doorstep with my children(again, squatting), or milking a goat, or our family clustered around a small open brazier, warming our calloused hands. I mean, I really want to do this stuff. But it's easy to dream about this idyllic life, while warming our hands by the light of a giant TV, eating takeaways and arguing about Masterchef...
     So last week when my friend announced that my microwave had just stopped working, I honestly just shrugged and said, 'ok'. And then when my husband was looking up microwave prices online, and trying to figure out were it would fit it in our budget(quick answer - it doesn't), I told him to settle down. We'd be fine, I told him. And I really thought we would be. I have several friends without microwaves who do FINE.
    And we have been, for the most part. One of my go-to, super-quick meals for the toddler is some pasta(precooked, in the fridge) with some grated cheese and mixed frozen veg, with some ham thrown in for protein.... pop it all in a bowl, zap it for about 30 seconds, give or take, stir it up so the cheese melts through, and you're done! Oh, and please spare me the lecture about giving your kids only fresh and organic food. My kids are well taken-care-of.
     So instead, Little-House-On-The-Prairie style, I popped it in a wee saucepan and stirred it over a low heat. So cute! So rustic! So time-consuming!
Curse you cheerios!!!

    Fast-forward to 6 days later, and it's taken me a day to defrost 2 tiny cocktail sausages from the freezer(again, spare me the lecture), and twenty minutes to slowly fry them on the stove till they're suitably cooked for a toddler. It's not so cute any more.

    I want to get some bread out of the freezer and defrost it! I want to melt some grated cheese over a bit of pasta REALLY FAST! I want to warm up a bottle of milk in exactly 25 seconds! I want the cuteness of the toddler in front of the microwave, chirping 'beep beep beep' hopefully!

    What I want is a gosh darned microwave. One that whirs and beeps and glows and heats.
 Rustic be damned.

PS let me know if anyone if the Auckland area has a spare microwave! Beep beep beep!


meg said...

Oh Rachel you should try Freecycle!

Simoney said...

hahaha you are so flippin funny. So glad you are blogging again because YOU, my friend, have a way with words (massive bummer about the MICROWAVE though!) x