Thursday, January 10

New Year, New Issues

            I'm sorry I'm so irregular with posts! I tells you, I'm constantly thinking up ideas for posts, but do I have the time or motivation to sit down and post? nah. Anyway, thought I'd better update...
I'm 'successfully' part-time breastfeeding FR, whatever successful means. In this case it means she manages to do a poo every couple of days, and doesn't scream the ENTIRE time she's doing it, just a bit. It also means I'm obviously producing milk of some sort or other. Woo! Go me! But at what cost? Sanity. To be fair, my hideous moods may be also just a post-Christmas deflation of sorts. So anyways, these are all the things running through my mind:

* sewing - do some. One of my New Years Resolutions that I still vaguely believe in, is to Make. Every Week. Something anything. So I bought an actual sewing pattern for a top(but darned if I can't find the right fabric to match!!) which is slightly daring seeing as I haven't read a pattern in years, and now the back looks like gobbledygook. Interfacing? Yards? What? So that's one project up my sleeve, and another is to try and trouble-shoot all my cloth nappies. I made a huge batch last year while pregnant, and they LEAK! All around the legs, and I DID have the audacity to alter the pattern I was using, so I was asking for trouble. Anyhoo, I will attempt to add an extra couple of cms of elastin around the legs in each and every nappy. Not sure whether that will solve it, but hey, it's an idea.  Otherwise they are all useless.

* painting - must paint me some furniture. The paint, it calls to me. I have a wooden chair I sanded down a YEAR ago when I was painting like mad, and it's waiting in the corner, staring at me sullenly. So I've bought me some magenta spraypaint and I'm gonna spray that bee-atch! Woo!
* body image/weight. Expect to see a few posts on the issue of self-love and self-loathing. It's 'weighing' on my mind, har har har. I've spent the last year trying to cultivate a positive body image, looking at pictures of beautiful large women, and attempting to re-educate my poor little shattered brain that skinny does not equate beautiful. And yet, and yet. The first stirrings of my favourite black dog for the year, and I'm back to square one: hating on myself, longing to lose weight, pretending to want to 'just be healthy' when really my fevered mind is imagining how awesome it would be if I were actually gaunt. Yeah, my mind is so healthy right now! So I'm trying to re-re-educate myself. And/or starve myself. Just kidding. I think. Anyhow, how do all these plus-size women bloggers get so darned pretty? I would be happier about being fat if I didn't have such a large nose and bad skin, wouldn't I? We will explore these issues. I'm not afraid of going deeper into the dark to find what light there is. Noble huh?
* Tattoo addiction. I love 'em. I love getting them, I love looking at them, I love the stories behind them, heck I'd love to learn how to do them! So after much thought and discussion with my own navel, I'm going to say, if you love a thing and are passionate about a thing, do that thing. I am NOT afraid of what people will think about a nearly-30 yr old getting new tattoos and piercings. I'm not rebelling, I'm revealing more of who I really am.
* Homeschooling. Yep, it's a thing I'm interested in doing. For a multitude of reasons. Don't even start with your shouting at me. I know it would be a MASSIVE lifestyle change. But I just might be ready for it. 

All of these and more are just some of the juicy stuff I will be exploring this year, one step at a time. In the meantime, I am attempting to lift my mood. I'm not too afraid of telling y'all, I ain't well. But there's a plan. I have the nicest doctor in the world. Modern medicine is a marvel. I may be down, but I have hope. I'm not afraid that I'm falling into the pit. Yes I'm flailing a bit, but it'll be ok in a few weeks I trust. In the meantime, have patience with me. I may be mean, or weird, or moody, or just grumpy. Have patience with me. My mind is a little bit broke.
Love y'all.


Leonie said...

One day and one step at a time. Yay for having a plan and a goal :) and so glad to hear things are better on the bubs/feeding front. I had no words after the previous post. But my thoughts were with you all. Celebrate the good stuff :)

Cat said...

tattoos LOVE them and am planning my next one .. .. ..

Rachel Osborne said...

you guys leave the best comments. :) Cat I didn't get any message re friday, what's the dealio?

Leonie said...

Hi again... Send cat an email via her blog or me and we can fill you in :)

Cat said...

email me and I'll send you details re next bloggy get together xxx