Saturday, April 20

Honesty Box

Ever feel like everything you read on the internet is written by someone simply far more amazing than yourself? Ever feel like all mummy blogs are written by beautiful skinny(or fat but happy and really cute) mamas who either tidy and clean all night while the kids are sleeping, or have a secret small cleaner lady who can't speak English very well, but damn, she knows how to hide in the cupboard and polish your taps!? Ever feel like that? I do - all the time.I hardly ever come across a blog with pictures of ugly people, dirty messy houses or angry children - unless they are about that specific thing, and are laughing at it. So. Honesty box(put $2 in when you take a punnet of strawberries - or don't). I have drawn you some diagrams to show you that I, a person who writes a so-called 'mummy blog' on the so-called 'internet', am just as crap as you, if not crapper(more crap). I will even pop one of these pictures on Instagram, to quiet those that shout 'foul play' at all the cute shots of puppies and rainbows. Thus:


Lounge floor; this has been like this since my 5 yr old's birthday party, two weeks ago. It may not look like it, but this is my 'important documents' pile...

This is also the lounge floor, near the nappy change pad, which I always mean to stand up behind a couch but usually just leave on the floor. The cat likes to lie on it. I used to have this all up on a table, to save my back, but that table has been commandeered... more on that below...

These are the pants I was working on for several hours yesterday. They are a mess. I am going to throw them out. I am never going to try and sew again. Yes, I do give up that easily...

OOTD: this is what sexy crafting mama bloggers wear. PJ pants: The Warehouse(POA only of course), Singlet top: Cotton On($10), Bra: not there, probably hanging on the bathroom door, Glasses: Specsavers, (free when I reviewed stuff and met Gok Wan a few years ago)(and yes that sounds pretty fancy, and yes because he recommended them for my face I will never ever ever take them off again, I shall die and be buried in them)(PS in front of a crowd he pointed out the large fabric necklace that I had made for my friend and complimented its awesomeness)(I will never forget that moment)(ever). 
And yes, I am available for styling advice, outfit ensembles and general fashion knowledge.
This is my craft table. You may have seen some of my amazing creations on the internet, or at markets, or on my children, or on my face. This is the center of that amazing creativity and talent, the eye of the storm so to speak... My method of creating is as follows: choose the equipment you will need, dig around for the parts or fabric until you are forced to swear loudly. This forces the required part or piece of fabric to rise magically to the top of the pile that your hand has been resting on. Haul said equipment and parts to the dining table. Create magic. If I am feeling super organised and tidy, I will move all the equipment and scraps back to this table in the spare room. If I am feeling normal, I will leave it all on the dining table where it shall stay until a) a friend is coming over, b) I suddenly feel guilty that I never feed my children properly at the table or c) I am inspired to make something requiring the dining table and different equipment.

So there you go, my lovelies. Never again shall you feel inferior. I am that friend, that girl that you can always count on to be a bit messier than you, to allay your guilt at your own dirty crusty floor. We all need that person in our lives, and I am she. 
You're welcome.


PS you may have noticed that I have been blogging way more regularly recently, this is to increase the viability of my site as a place advertisers will want to dump their stuff. Unfortunately the content doesn't seemed to have improved yet. 


9 comments:

Norfolk Exposure said...

Hilarious! So relieved to know there ARE normal people out in Blog Land!! You had me laughing out loud...not many blog posts do that. Your honesty has made my day xx

Sophie Slim said...

Eeeeheeee! Funny. And here I was thinking you must be miss super organised, home schooling, crafting mama. xxx (you're still all of those things)

Anna Sutcliffe said...

I love love love this post - and I love you too xxxxx Anna

melissa-jade gregan said...

sigh...i relate and feel better for it. can i just add that if i could be bothered i would take a photo of my lovely new couch...covered (COVERED) in white cat hair! i've become so used to it that when a guest came over this week that i said 'hold on, sorry, let me scrape some of the hair aside. you're not allergic to cats are you?'

kimberlee said...

ha love the madness!

ourtinylandscapes said...

This only makes me love you more. xx

Leonie said...

Haha - love the keeping it realness of this post :)

Simoney said...

how did I miss this super-awesome post? Thank goodness for YOU!
x

Ruby@WilliamsDataManagement.com said...

That’s so funny! Anyway, those pictures are quite a mess. Also, you can recycle those garments. Moreover, the papers, files, and documents must be shred if you’re also planning to throw them out. Or better yet, you can use them to make lovely paper crafts!